SERRRATUS TINGKAAAT

Assalamualaikum,

Bagi menghargai jasa JKK yang sentiasa membodek kami, saya naikkan elaun mereka lllaaaapaaan rrratus ringgit.

Bagi tok batin pun lllaaaapaaan rrratus ringgit.

Kita akan bina kompleks MRT baru berharga emmmmpat poin tiiiiga billllion

Kita akan bina menara Warrrrisaaann Merrrrdekaaa setinggi serrrratusss tingggggkaattt berharga liiiima biliooooon.

tol highway PLUS tidak naik selama liiimmma taun.

Minyak akan naik berrrrganda ganda.

Seperti biasa, sejak liiiiima puluh tiiiiiga tahun yang lepas, bajet ini adalah bajet yang terrrrrrbaikkkk.

DAH TUA PUN KONVO

Assalamualaikum,

Selama 31 aku kerja dengan satu IPTA, bila dia suruh ikut perarakan semasa konvo aku buat dek je. Satu tahun pun aku tak pernah ikut perarakan konvo.

Tapi bila kerja dengan satu lagi IPTA kecil sekarang, semua orang kenal aku. Satu aje profesor yang pakai serban. Jadi bila naik nama kena ikut konvo , macam mana aku nak mengelak. Kena le ikut sama.

Jadi setelah 31 tahun, semalam aku konvo lagi sekali. Ada ke kerani tu suruh aku tanggal serban, ganti dengan mortar board. Serban sikh pun kau tak kan suruh tanggal.

PRU DAH HAMPIR

Assalamualaikum,

Oleh kerana tim pemerintah telah menangguhkan GST, goods services tax, maka itu petanda pilihanraya umum mengejut sedang dipertimbang.

Tapi yang meramal ni tidak ambil kira satu perkara penting.

Kenyitan first lady

CALL ME ANDONG

Assalamualaikum,

Pak Him kena tarik satu gelaran datuk, tapi ada tinggal 2 lagi. Maknanya kena panggil dia datuk datuk. Dulu, datuk, datuk, datuk.

Aku pun datuk juga pak him. Tapi jenis yang tidak boleh ditarik balik.

Pak Him beritau wartawan: call me saudara Ibrahim Ali

Aku beri tahu pak him: call me Andong

PILIHANRAYA BATU SAPI

Assalamualaikum,

EARLIEST PLANTS

Assalamualaikum,

[BBC]

Modern liverworts are probably common ancestors of all land plants

The earliest plants to have colonised land have been found in Argentina.

The discovery puts back by 10 million years the colonisation of land by plants, and suggests that a diversity of land plants had evolved by 472 million years ago.

The newly found plants are liverworts, very simple plants that lack stems or roots, scientists report in the journal the New Phytologist.

That confirms liverworts are likely to be the ancestors of all land plants.

The appearance of plants that live on land is among the most important evolutionary breakthroughs in Earth's history.

Land plants changed climates around the globe, altered soils and allowed all other multi-cellular life to evolve and invade almost all of the continental land masses.

The cryptospores are the oldest land plant fossils yet found

The discovery of the oldest known land plants was made by a team of researchers led by Claudia Rubinstein of the Department of Palaeontology at the Argentine Institute of Snow, Ice and Environmental Research in Mendoza, Argentina.

She and her collected samples of sediment from the Rio Capillas, in the Sierras Subandinas in the Central Andean Basin of northwest Argentina.

They then processed the sediment samples by dissolving them in strong acids, taking great care to avoid contamination.

Five varieties

In the sediment the team found hardy fossilised spores from five different types of liverwort, a primitive type of plant thought to have evolved from freshwater multi-cellular green algae.

"Spores of liverworts are very simple and are called cryptospores," Dr Rubinstein told the BBC.

"The cryptospores that we describe are the earliest to date."

The fossils were found in rocks of the Sierras Subandinas, Argentina

These spores, dating from between 473 and 471 million years ago, come from plants belonging to five different genera - groups of species.

"That shows plants had already begun to diversify, meaning they must have colonised land earlier than our dated samples," said Dr Rubinstein, who made the discovery with scientists at the National University of Cordoba, Argentina and the University of Liege, Belgium.

The researchers' best estimate is that the colonisation of land could have occurred during the early Ordovician period (488 to 472 million years ago) or even during the late Cambrian period (499 to 488 million years ago).

Highly resistant

The previous record holder of the earliest known land plants were small liverwort cryptospores found in Saudi Arabia and the Czech Republic.

These were dated at 463 to 461 million years old.

TALENTED PLANTS Read how plants are able to 'defy the effects of ageing' Last year, a new species of giant carnivorous plant was discovered Learn more about the Plant Kingdom at the BBC Wildlife Finder

All land plants produce spores or pollen in vast numbers.

These spores are enclosed in a thick protective wall that is incredibly resistant, meaning they fossilise well.

Whole plants fossilise less easily, explaining why the earliest "megafossils" of whole plants are much younger.

Cryptospores are just like modern plant spores, except for an unusual structural arrangement.

Shocking find

The discovery of spores from the oldest liverworts came as shock to the researchers.

"The surprise was so great that I asked my colleague Philippe Steemans to process the same sediment samples.

"He found exactly the same cryptospore assemblages, which demonstrated that the presence of the cryptospores in my samples was not due to a contamination," said Dr Rubinstein.

SOURCES Visit the New Phytologist to read more about the discovery of the earliest land plants Visit the New Phytologist to read an expert commentary on the significance of the discovery

The cryptospores from Argentina hint at where land plants originated.

"It most probably happened on Gondwana, as already demonstrated by previous discoveries, but very far, at least 5000km, from the Saudi Arabian and the Czech Republic, where previous earliest traces of land plants were found," said Dr Rubinstein.

As land plants matured, they evolved from liverworts into mosses, and then into plants known as hornworts and lycopods.

Then ferns appeared before seed plants, of which there are many species today, finally evolved.

PERKASA DAN % MELAYU

Assalamualaikum,

PERKASA kata Bumiputra di Malaysia ni berjumlah 67%

Aku suruh student aku kira penduduk Malaysia, guna kaedah exponential projection. Gunakan data banci dari Saw Swee Hock.

Dalam tahun 2020, Melayu 56%. Bumiputra lain 11%

Jadi Melayu dan Bumiputra 67%. PERKASA kata macam tu.

Cuma hanya dalam 2020, baru capai 67% tu

SMK TUNKU ABDUL RAHMAN PUTRA

Assalamualaikum,

Famous sekolah ni, sampai parlimen Malaysia pun bincang hal dia

BERTANDING DI BATU SAPI

Assalamualaikum,

Mon, 11 Oct 2010 16:56



PETALING JAYA: Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) Sabah bersiap sedia dalam menghadapi sebarang kemungkinan bahawa parti itu bakal diletakkan sebagai wakil calon dalam menghadapi pilihan raya di Batu Sapi kelak.
Menurut Pengerusi Majlis Pimpinan Negeri Sabah, Ahmad Thamrin Jaini satu mesyuarat akan diadakan esok di ibu pejabat PKR negeri dengan dihadiri anggota parti dan ketua-ketua cabang yang terpilih dalam Mesyuarat Agung Tahunan Cabang (MATC) sebelum ini.Thamrin juga tidak menolak sebarang kemungkinan PKR bakal diberi mandat itu, namun menyerahkan segala keputusan kepada pimpinan Pakatan Rakyat (PR)."Lebih 50 orang bakal menghadiri mesyuarat itu di Penampang esok malam dan fokus utama perbincangan berkisar mengenai persiapan PKR negeri dalam pilihan raya di Batu Sapi."Walaupun pada 2008 lalu PKR diberi mandat bertanding di kawasan itu, namun segala-galanya bergantung kepada keputusan mesyuarat Pakatan Rakyat Sabah yang bakal dilakukan pertengahan Oktober ini," katanya yang dihubungi FMT.Kerusi parlimen Batu Sapi kosong ekoran kematian ahli parlimennya Edmund Chong Ket Wah dari Parti Bersatu Sabah (PBS), yang terbunuh dalam kemalangan jalan raya di Kota Kinabalu Sabtu lalu.Mendiang menduduki kerusi Batu Sapi sejak pilihan raya umum 2004 apabila memenangi kerusi itu tanpa sebarang saingan.Kerusi milik PKRPengarah Pilihan Raya PKR Fuziah Salleh pula turut memberi andaian bahawa kerusi Batu Sapi masih milik PKR.Kata Fuziah, melalui perundingan pada 2008 lalu PKR diberi peluang meletakkan calon dalam pilihan raya itu dan sehingga hari ini tiada sebarang perubahan mengenainya.Maka katanya, perjanjian untuk meletakkan calon PKR bagi kerusi tersebut masih sah, namun segala-galanya takluk kepada pimpinan Pakatan Rakyat kelak."Pada 2008 kerusi Batu Sapi diletakkan sebagai milik PKR. Namun di saat-saat akhir kita tidak letakkan calon."Maka saya andaikan kerusi itu masih menjadi milik PKR. Perjanjian itu masih sah malah tiada sebarang pindaan dibuat PKR Sabah mahupun Pakatan Rakyat setakat ini.
"Namun segala-galanya masih terpulang kepada pimpinan PR dalam membuat keputusan selanjutnya," katanya yang dihubungi FMT.Pada pilihan raya 2008, Edmund berjaya mengekalkan kerusinya dengan mudah apabila menumpaskan calon Bebas,PKR yang sepatutnya meletakkan calon pada pilihan raya 2008 lalu tidak berbuat demikian ekoran masalah teknikal semasa penghantaran borang pencalonan.Maka pada pilihan raya 2008 lalu, Edmund berjaya mengekalkan kerusinya dengan mudah apabila menumpaskan calon bebas Chung Kwong Wing dengan majoriti 3,708 undi.Chong memperoleh 9,479 undi manakala Chung pula mendapat 5,771.Calon pilihan warga tempatan
Bercakap mengenai calon sekiranya PKR diberi laluan bertanding, Thamrin berkata persiapan sedang dilakukan membabitkan jentera parti, namun masih terlalu awal bagi membincangkan calon yang sesuai."Jika diputuskan PKR akan jadi wakil calon kami menerimanya. Malah mesyuarat yang akan diadakan esok sebagai persiapan awal bagi menghadapai sebarang kemungkinan yang berlaku."Menyentuh mengenai calon, kami cukup ramai calon berpotensi. Kami belum bincang soal calon namun calon tempatan masih menjadi keutamaan," kata beliau.